Great Article About the EWU Game

[gtapp]

I especially like the part in BOLD!

Traveling an adventure for the Eagles en route to the UNI-Dome
EWU football team experiences delays and odd events during charter flight
by Brandon Hansen

November 29, 2005

The hardships of being on a sports team on the road is usually overlooked by everyone because most people do not see the laborious measures that athletes have to go through just to make it to their opponent’s home turf. With the NCAA Division I-AA playoffs in full swing, the EWU football team had to do its fair share of traveling to face off against the Panthers of Northern Iowa.

The Easterner’s sports editor, Eric Schwartz, and I found ourselves tagging along with the Eagles, mainly through the good graces of the athletic department, and during the trip we learned that being the visitors at a college football game is more than just dealing with a hostile crowd.

The journey began on a frigid Friday morning at approximately 9:30 a.m. in front of the rather pitiable looking Spokane Airways terminal. After dropping our luggage off on a glorified golf cart that was supposedly going to load them onto the charter plane we, along with the football team, went through a long check by security guards that appeared to have just graduated from Gonzaga Prep Junior High.

It was comforting to see that all of Spokane Airway’s security equipment fit in a small cardboard box. The guards were adamant about their job and they even double checked some of the coach’s small children just to make sure that al Qaeda had not started enlisting toddlers to their cause.

After taking a short hike out on the tarmac to the plane, we found ourselves cramped, hot and enjoying some of the jazziest plane music this side of Nashville. Then our pilot chimed in with this encouraging tidbit of info with a voice that sounded like a third grader that couldn’t come up with the word “cat” in a spelling bee.

“Ummmm…. Ladies and Gentlemen we’re going to be sitting on the runway for a moment….ummm…. There’s a funny noise and we don’t know where it’s coming from… We’re going to check it out, nothing to worry about…ummmmm.”

I can’t tell you the level of confidence in the people operating the plane I felt after that statement. It was up there with the confidence I had in Mike Brown running FEMA.

After an awkward wait that included many nervous laughs from the people around us, the plane finally lifted into the sky and we were on our way to Northern Iowa. Delicious Velveeta hot cheese sandwiches kept us busy during the flight, along with the rather entertaining Sky Mall magazine that sold such items as the Plush Face Hugger from the Alien movies and the Doggie Couch Ramp.

Definitely some great ideas for the upcoming Christmas season.

Once we touched down in Waterloo, Iowa, we switched our mode of transportation to Charter Bus and headed to the Ramada Inn. Now the thing about the Waterloo Ramada Inn was that it was probably one of the taller buildings in town, maybe 10 or 11 stories, and yet it only had two elevators and no stairs to be seen. Anywhere.

I did indeed have the window cracked and had my bed sheets tied together as a rope in case of a late night fire. You can never be too cautious.

After losing two hours to the time zones, EWU finally got to the site of competition around 6:30 p.m.

The mammoth UNI-Dome dominated the skyline of Iowa… although that’s not saying much, it was a rather impressive structure. Seating nearly 16,000 fans and featuring Astro Turf from the annals of hell, it was certainly not a place many teams wanted to play in.

Practice was almost surreal, mainly because it was around dinner time and, instead of eating, we were watching the football team go through numerous drills and special team plays. Our growling stomachs echoed throughout the odd atmosphere of the almost empty but fully lit dome.

After practice we headed back to the Ramada Inn, and were faced with a dilemma. Since we gained two hours in the time zone change, we had many hours before we could even think about getting to sleep.

Sadly, there’s only ESPN, Fox News and the Discovery Channel on TV in Iowa. So, after some delicious pizza, we found ourselves enthralled by a thrilling documentary about women’s prisons in North Carolina. One terrible WAC conference football game and three Home Improvement episodes later, I found myself drifting off to sleep and ready for the game the next day.

Narrowly avoiding the wrath of the Ramada Inn for checking out late, we decided to spend the time before the night game to check out the town of Waterloo.

No coffee shops, no bookstores, not even a crummy gas station. An interesting place to be this was not. After enjoying some time at the Waterloo Public Library (that’s how desperate we were), we headed back to the hotel to catch a ride with the alumni bus to a local pub for a pre-game celebration.

After eating what could quite possibly be called the largest mozzarella sticks on earth and watching alumnus down a couple drinks and stumble to the bathroom, we turned to the television to see that Montana had lost its first round game in the Div. I-AA playoffs.

Now usually we would be rooting for teams in our conference that were playing in the post season, but it was the Grizzlies, and frankly, we hate them. They announced the score later in the UNI-Dome and even Northern Iowa fans went ecstatic over Montana’s demise. Nobody likes these guys.

Once it was time for the game, we found that the empty dome we had watched practice in the night before had turned into a bustling mass of humanity. The pre-game introductions had the Northern Iowa Panthers emerging from…yes…a garage door in the corner of stadium.

At least they had a smoke machine by it to complete the effect of tackiness.

Now the game…as you all know…was painful, but what hurt even more was the trip home.

When we got to the airport, we had to endure a two-hour security check which included a rather friendly pat-down by a sweaty guy with glasses. When we sat down in our plane seats, the pilot informed us of even more thrilling news.

“Ummm… well the main runway lights at the airport are broken… and ummm… well we’re overweight to take off safely from the short runway… ummm… so we’re going to have to burn 3,000 pounds of gas off.”

Images of running out of gas halfway over Montana flashed through my head, but they were soon replaced by sheer boredom as we buzzed around the tarmac trying to waste more fuel than a SUV.

However, it was apparent that this was the Honda Civic of jet airplanes and burning off 3,000 pounds of fuel required so much time that I thought that we were actually going to drive to Spokane in the plane. Then as the plane was in mid-turn in the taxi way, the pilot gunned the engine, power slid into the runway and took off to the applause of a tired contingent of EWU players and fans.

After an in-flight meal of burgers that would make the employees of Carl’s Jr. a little embarrassed, I spent the next two hours trying to mold myself in a comfortable position to get some sleep.

Did not work; coach class is hell.

On our final descent, the stewardess came on the intercom and summed up the incompetence of the transportation service that we had been subjected to for the length of the trip.

“We hope you enjoyed your flight with us, and good luck for the rest of the season.”

Ouch.

[rtb]

THANK YOU!! That had me laughing out loud in my office.

[grizbeer]

Look , who would want a guy who "did indeed have the window cracked and had my bed sheets tied together as a rope in case of a late night fire. You can never be too cautious" to cheer for your team. Pretty sure the NIU people don't hate Montana, they were cheering because they realized (unlike this doof) a Montana loss could have lead to a home game in the future for them.

as far as all the problems he had on his trip, a simple explanation: bad things happen to a$$holes.

[rtb]

Look , who would want a guy who "did indeed have the window cracked and had my bed sheets tied together as a rope in case of a late night fire. You can never be too cautious" to cheer for your team. Pretty sure the NIU people don't hate Montana, they were cheering because they realized (unlike this doof) a Montana loss could have lead to a home game in the future for them.

as far as all the problems he had on his trip, a simple explanation: bad things happen to a$$holes.

Seriously, take the article for what it was, a humor piece. Get over it.

[grizbeer]

Look , who would want a guy who "did indeed have the window cracked and had my bed sheets tied together as a rope in case of a late night fire. You can never be too cautious" to cheer for your team. Pretty sure the NIU people don't hate Montana, they were cheering because they realized (unlike this doof) a Montana loss could have lead to a home game in the future for them.

as far as all the problems he had on his trip, a simple explanation: bad things happen to a$$holes.

Seriously, take the article for what it was, a humor piece. Get over it.

Sorry, I should have put some in there - I was kidding, thought that was obvious from the "bad things happen to a$$holes" part.

[rtb]

Seriously, take the article for what it was, a humor piece. Get over it.

Sorry, I should have put some in there - I was kidding, thought that was obvious from the "bad things happen to a$$holes" part.[/quote]

Sorry, didn't realize there was any sacasm on that thread. Many fans use the term without sarcasm so I wasn't sure. I was worried that loss and put you Griz fans on pins and needles just waiting to explode

[whitetrashgriz]

Seriously, take the article for what it was, a humor piece. Get over it.

Sorry, I should have put some in there - I was kidding, thought that was obvious from the "bad things happen to a$$holes" part.

Sorry, didn't realize there was any sacasm on that thread. Many fans use the term without sarcasm so I wasn't sure. I was worried that loss and put you Griz fans on pins and needles just waiting to explode [/quote]

he did come across as a little biatch though. i mean, i just spent 5 minutes listening to a guy bitch about everything but the game that was played. and let's be honest, that's the part of the trip that made it so bad. notice he spent two senteneces on the game. just came across as whiney, weak attempts at humor to me. suddenly, i'm glad they lost.