A North Dakota farmer was visiting Las Vegas. He had no money to gamble, so he watched the games and bet mentally. In no time at all, he'd lost his mind.
What is the State Tree of North Dakota?
The telephone pole.
North Dakota jokes
Moderators: rtb, kmax, SonomaCat
-
CelticCat
- Golden Bobcat
- Posts: 12292
- Joined: Thu Apr 01, 2004 12:55 pm
- Location: Upper Northwest WA
- Contact:
R&R Cat Cast - the #1 Bobcat fan podcast - https://www.rrcatcast.com
Twitter - https://twitter.com/rrcatcast
Twitter - https://twitter.com/rrcatcast
-
Grizlaw
- BobcatNation Hall of Famer
- Posts: 3305
- Joined: Fri Mar 11, 2005 2:04 pm
- Location: Floral Park, NY
This was always my personal favorite. Of course, it was a Montana State joke originally, but we'll treat it as a NDSU joke this week. 
Dear Abby:
I am a sailor in the United States Coast Guard. My parents live in a suburb of Philadelphia and one of my sisters, who lives in Bensonhurst, is married to a transvestite. My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Jersey City. I have two brothers, one is currently serving a no-parole life sentence in Attica for rape & murder. The other currently being held in the Wellington Remand Center on charges of incest with his three children.
I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who lives in the Bronx and indeed is still a part-time "working girl" in a brothel, however, her time there is limited, as she has recently been infected with an STD. We intend to marry as soon as possible and are currently looking into the possibility of opening our own brothel, with my fiance utilizing her knowledge of the industry working as the manager. I am hoping my two sisters would be interested in joining our team. Although I would prefer them not to prostitute themselves, at least it would get them off the streets and, hopefully, off the heroin.
My problem is this; I love my fiance and look forward to bringing her into the family, and of course I want to be totally honest with her. Should I tell her about my cousin who plays football for NORTH DAKOTA STATE?
Signed,
Worried About My Reputation
Dear Abby:
I am a sailor in the United States Coast Guard. My parents live in a suburb of Philadelphia and one of my sisters, who lives in Bensonhurst, is married to a transvestite. My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Jersey City. I have two brothers, one is currently serving a no-parole life sentence in Attica for rape & murder. The other currently being held in the Wellington Remand Center on charges of incest with his three children.
I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who lives in the Bronx and indeed is still a part-time "working girl" in a brothel, however, her time there is limited, as she has recently been infected with an STD. We intend to marry as soon as possible and are currently looking into the possibility of opening our own brothel, with my fiance utilizing her knowledge of the industry working as the manager. I am hoping my two sisters would be interested in joining our team. Although I would prefer them not to prostitute themselves, at least it would get them off the streets and, hopefully, off the heroin.
My problem is this; I love my fiance and look forward to bringing her into the family, and of course I want to be totally honest with her. Should I tell her about my cousin who plays football for NORTH DAKOTA STATE?
Signed,
Worried About My Reputation
I work as an attorney so that I can afford good scotch, which helps me to forget that I work as an attorney.
-
BelgradeBobcat
- Golden Bobcat
- Posts: 8803
- Joined: Mon Mar 29, 2004 9:52 pm
- Location: Belgrade, Montana
At the first day of NDSU football practice coach Bohl showed a football to a promising young quarterback and asked, "Can you pass this?"
The bewildered player replied, "Geez coach, I don't think I could even swallow it!"
Okay, that's my last one. I'd just like to say well done everyone. I've gotten a good chuckle out of this thread.
Welcome to all the Bison fans who make it to Bozeman. Here's to long and exciting rivalry.
The bewildered player replied, "Geez coach, I don't think I could even swallow it!"
Okay, that's my last one. I'd just like to say well done everyone. I've gotten a good chuckle out of this thread.
Welcome to all the Bison fans who make it to Bozeman. Here's to long and exciting rivalry.
-
Platinumcat
- BobcatNation Hall of Famer
- Posts: 3655
- Joined: Sun Jan 16, 2005 3:11 pm
- Location: Bozeman
A North Dakota hunter comes running into the emergency room carrying his hunting partner.
"Help" he says, "I accidentally shot my hunting partner when we were out looking for deer".
The doctors take the injured man into the operating room and returns a short time later.
The first hunter stands up and says "well, did he make it doc?"
The doctor replies "He would have if you wouldn't have gutted him first!!!!!"
"Help" he says, "I accidentally shot my hunting partner when we were out looking for deer".
The doctors take the injured man into the operating room and returns a short time later.
The first hunter stands up and says "well, did he make it doc?"
The doctor replies "He would have if you wouldn't have gutted him first!!!!!"
-
AnchorCat
- BobcatNation Letterman
- Posts: 111
- Joined: Mon Aug 01, 2005 11:59 am
A MHP patrolman pulls over a ’48 Dodge grain truck with North Dakota plates on the interstate just outside of Billings.
He walks up to the cab, which is full of girls, and says to the driver “I noticed that Bison flag on your aerial. Are you girls students at NoDak State?”
The driver answers “We sure are officer. We’re on our way to the big football game in Bozeman.”
With that, the MHP patrolman steps back, unzips his trousers, and tells the driver to get out of the cab.
The girl exclaims “Not again - this is my third breathalyzer test since crossing the Montana border!”
He walks up to the cab, which is full of girls, and says to the driver “I noticed that Bison flag on your aerial. Are you girls students at NoDak State?”
The driver answers “We sure are officer. We’re on our way to the big football game in Bozeman.”
With that, the MHP patrolman steps back, unzips his trousers, and tells the driver to get out of the cab.
The girl exclaims “Not again - this is my third breathalyzer test since crossing the Montana border!”
-
Hell's Bells
- Golden Bobcat
- Posts: 4692
- Joined: Sun Dec 05, 2004 11:58 pm
- Location: Belgrade, Mt.
- Contact:
thats bad...very badAnchorCat wrote:A MHP patrolman pulls over a ’48 Dodge grain truck with North Dakota plates on the interstate just outside of Billings.
He walks up to the cab, which is full of girls, and says to the driver “I noticed that Bison flag on your aerial. Are you girls students at NoDak State?”
The driver answers “We sure are officer. We’re on our way to the big football game in Bozeman.”
With that, the MHP patrolman steps back, unzips his trousers, and tells the driver to get out of the cab.
The girl exclaims “Not again - this is my third breathalyzer test since crossing the Montana border!”
This space for rent....
-
Cat Grad
- Golden Bobcat
- Posts: 7463
- Joined: Mon Dec 13, 2004 11:05 am
Okay, one more...
The North Dakota qb and his gal were embracing passionately in the front seat of the car. "Want to go in the back seat?" she asked.
"No," he replied.
A few minutes later she asked, "Now do you want to get in the back seat?"
"No," he said again, "I wanna stay here in the front seat with you."
The North Dakota qb and his gal were embracing passionately in the front seat of the car. "Want to go in the back seat?" she asked.
"No," he replied.
A few minutes later she asked, "Now do you want to get in the back seat?"
"No," he said again, "I wanna stay here in the front seat with you."
-
Hell's Bells
- Golden Bobcat
- Posts: 4692
- Joined: Sun Dec 05, 2004 11:58 pm
- Location: Belgrade, Mt.
- Contact:
hey cat grad was the gal in that joke a blond??Cat Grad wrote:Okay, one more...
The North Dakota qb and his gal were embracing passionately in the front seat of the car. "Want to go in the back seat?" she asked.
"No," he replied.
A few minutes later she asked, "Now do you want to get in the back seat?"
"No," he said again, "I wanna stay here in the front seat with you."
This space for rent....
-
Cat Grad
- Golden Bobcat
- Posts: 7463
- Joined: Mon Dec 13, 2004 11:05 am
...and then I've got to get to Bozo with these...
Q. How did the North Dakota student die from drinking milk?
A. The cow fell on him!
Q. Why do North Dakota students have TGIF on their shoes?
A. Toes Go In First!
Q. Did you hear about the North Dakota quarterback who tried to throw himself on the floor in a fit of rage?
A. He missed!
Q. How did the North Dakota student die from drinking milk?
A. The cow fell on him!
Q. Why do North Dakota students have TGIF on their shoes?
A. Toes Go In First!
Q. Did you hear about the North Dakota quarterback who tried to throw himself on the floor in a fit of rage?
A. He missed!
-
Hell's Bells
- Golden Bobcat
- Posts: 4692
- Joined: Sun Dec 05, 2004 11:58 pm
- Location: Belgrade, Mt.
- Contact:
-
WeedKillinCat
- Member # Retired
- Posts: 2024
- Joined: Fri Sep 23, 2005 7:19 pm
- Location: Billings Heights
A Montanan and a North Dakotan are out hunting one day, when the North Dakotan said "boy I really have to take a growler, but we don't have any toilet paper".
The Montanan says do what I do, use a dollar.
So the North Dakotan does his business and comes back, but his right hand is a mess.
The Montanan asks him "what happened? I told you to use a dollar!"
The North Dakotan says " I did...three quarters, two dimes and a nickel!"
The Montanan says do what I do, use a dollar.
So the North Dakotan does his business and comes back, but his right hand is a mess.
The Montanan asks him "what happened? I told you to use a dollar!"
The North Dakotan says " I did...three quarters, two dimes and a nickel!"
-
Shakermaker
- BobcatNation Team Captain
- Posts: 437
- Joined: Fri Dec 10, 2004 10:25 pm