WHY ATHLETES CAN'T HAVE REAL JOBS
New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about
the upcoming season: "I want to rush for 1,000 or
1,500 yards, whichever comes first."
...........................................................
And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skins say: "I'd
run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl,"
Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win, I'd run
over Joe's Mom, too."
............................................................
Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his
coach, John Jenkins: "He treats us like men. He lets
us wear earrings."
...........................................................
Football commentator and former player, Joe Theismann,
1996: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A
genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
...........................................................
Senior basketball player at the University of
Pittsburgh: "I'm going to graduate on time, no matter
how long it takes." (Now that is beautiful!)
..........................................................
Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You
guys line up alphabetically by height." And, "You
guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a
circle."
...........................................................
Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role
model: "I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look
up to me. I wan' all the kids to copulate me."
..........................................................
Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up
again with promoter Don King: "Why would anyone
expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for
three years, not Princeton."
............................................................
Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining
why he keeps a color photo of himself above his
locker: "That's so when I forget how to spell my
name, I can still find my clothes."
...........................................................
Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan
training regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a
guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning
regardless of what time it is."
....................................................... .....
Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player,
explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared
nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting a baby,
and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an
aunt." (I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature
in January?)
..........................................................
Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former
player: "I told him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is
it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know
and I don't care.'"
...........................................................
Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M,
recounting what he told a player who received four F's
and one D: "Son, looks to me like you're spending too
much time on one subject."
.............................................................
Amarillo High School and Houston Oiler coach Bum
Phillips when asked by Bob Costas why he takes his
wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded:
"Because she is too ugly to kiss good-bye."
(Dead man walkin'!)
WHY ATHLETES CAN'T HAVE REAL JOBS
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