Griz jokes for the Montana Quarterly

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Griz jokes for the Montana Quarterly

Postby Bay Area Cat on Fri Jul 29, 2005 1:18 pm

This is your chance to tell Griz jokes without having to go to the smack board. Why? Because it is "official business."

Below is a clip from an email I got from the editor of Montana Quarterly. Presumably, they are collecting Bobcat jokes from another source, and they will print the jokes from both the Cat and Griz sides in an upcoming issue. They need to jokes by 8/5, so we will probably pull the best of what have been posted and create a poll to pick the top 5 early next week.

Obviously, they need to be somewhat clean (or censored, at least).

Let's hear what you've got!

Hello. My name is Nick Ehli and I am the editor of Montana Quarterly, a state-wide magazine published by the Bozeman Chronicle. On the last page of each issue, we include a page called, "Last Laugh." For this issue, we are looking for the very best Bobcat-Grizzly jokes and plan to run five or so offered by each university in our fall issue. I'd very much like to involve the folks who make up the Bobcat Nation. What would you suggest? Thanks.
Last edited by Bay Area Cat on Fri Aug 05, 2005 2:00 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Postby wbtfg on Fri Jul 29, 2005 1:23 pm

This is an oldie, but goodie.

How do you get a UM alum off of your front porch?

Pay him for the pizza.
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Postby mquast53000 on Fri Jul 29, 2005 1:56 pm

Q: What does a Griz chick and a hockey player have in common?


A: They both take showers after three periods!
FTG
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Postby Ponycat on Fri Jul 29, 2005 2:37 pm

A UM graduate submitted a proposal for the new state quarter for Montana, but it got turned down as they couldn't fit two dimes and a nickle taped togeter through the slots on video games.


you can polish it up a lot more but you get the jist of it I hope
Last edited by Ponycat on Fri Jul 29, 2005 2:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby catamaran on Fri Jul 29, 2005 2:56 pm

favorites : how do you keep griz off of your lawn....1)put up a help wanted sign or 2)draw a three point line
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Postby UMclassof2002 on Fri Jul 29, 2005 3:28 pm

What do you get when you cross an MSU grad with an octopuss?



I don't know, but it sure can flip burgers.
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Postby GOKATS on Fri Jul 29, 2005 3:38 pm

UMclassof2002 wrote:What do you get when you cross an MSU grad with an octopuss?



I don't know, but it sure can flip burgers.


Great for tailgating, but not as a career.

Most common career words spoken by a UM grad- "would you like that supersized?"
FTG!!
[quote="GrizinWashington"]The Griz suck.
[quote=" tampa_griz"] (because China isn't a part of "Asia") .....

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Postby CelticCat on Fri Jul 29, 2005 7:51 pm

How do you starve a Griz fan?

Hide his paycheck under his workboots.
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Postby grizzh8r on Sat Jul 30, 2005 12:53 am

CelticCat wrote:How do you starve a Griz fan?

Hide his paycheck under his workboots.


Ooooh, BUUURN! :lol:
Eric Curry STILL makes me sad.

94VegasCat wrote:Are you for real? That is just a plain ol dumb paragraph! You just nailed every note in the Full Retard sing-a-long choir!!!
:rofl:
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Postby Robcat on Mon Aug 01, 2005 9:44 am

A Grizzly couple took their two children shopping at the mall. Their 5 year old found a really neat Bobcat shirt and asked his teenage sister if he could have it. Sister said no way, we are Grizzly fans! But you can ask Mom. He gets the same answer from Mom, no way we are a Grizzly family. On the way home Dad noticed how quite his litle boy was in the back seat. He said Johnny what seems to be troubling you? Johnny replied, I have ony been a Bobact for less than 1 hour and I allready hate you Grizzlies.
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Postby Grizlaw on Mon Aug 01, 2005 11:46 am

CelticCat wrote:How do you starve a Griz fan?

Hide his paycheck under his workboots.


Not to criticize, but originally that joke was supposed to be "welfare check," not "paycheck." And it was, of course, a Bobcat joke. ;)

My contribution:

Q. Why did MSU have to cancel its Christmas play last year?

A. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.
Last edited by Grizlaw on Mon Aug 01, 2005 11:46 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby AnchorCat on Mon Aug 01, 2005 12:07 pm

UMclassof2002 wrote:What do you get when you cross an MSU grad with an octopuss?

I don't know, but it sure can flip burgers.


How does a UM grad spell octopus?
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Postby Grizlaw on Mon Aug 01, 2005 12:26 pm

AnchorCat wrote:


Posted: Mon Aug 01, 2005 11:07 am Post subject:

AnchorCat




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UMclassof2002 wrote:What do you get when you cross an MSU grad with an octopuss?

I don't know, but it sure can flip burgers.


How does a UM grad spell octopus?


Or here's one:

Q. What did the Griz fan say to the Cat fan who actually created a brand new account on a message board just to point out a spelling mistake made by a Griz fan?

A. You need a life, man!

;)
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Postby AnchorCat on Mon Aug 01, 2005 12:52 pm

What's silver & maroon and has two teeth?


The student section at Washington-Grizzly stadium.
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Postby CatGrad89 on Mon Aug 01, 2005 12:59 pm

Question: How many UM football players does it take to change a lightbulb?

Answer: Just one but he gets a 4 credit "A" for it!
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Postby tetoncat on Mon Aug 01, 2005 1:00 pm

What is the difference between a porcupine and Washington Grizzly Stadium. ***
A porcupine has pricks on the outside. :P :lol: :P :lol:
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Postby AnchorCat on Mon Aug 01, 2005 1:02 pm

A man is walking along a creek one day. While he's looking around he notices the starting Grizzly quarterback walking along the other side of the creek. He yells to the quarterback, "Hey, how do I get to the other side?" The Grizzly answers, "You are on the other side!"
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Postby AnchorCat on Mon Aug 01, 2005 1:06 pm

Why do U of M grads post their diplomas on the dashboard?


So they can park in handicapped spots.
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Postby Grizlaw on Mon Aug 01, 2005 1:09 pm

Two Cat fans go moose hunting in a remote part of Alaska, where they have to be flown into by plane. While hunting, they kill three moose, which they then dragged back to the plane. When they arrive back at the plane, the pilot says "Sorry, boys, but the plane's engines are only strong enough to carry two moose; you're going to have to leave the third one behind."

After some whining and arguing with the pilot, he finally agrees to try to fly all three moose back to civilization, so they load the moose onto the plane and take off. After flying a while, the plane's engines start to sputter and the plane crashes. Fortunately, no one was injured, and as the two MSU grads pull themselves from the wreckage, the first MSU grad asks the second: "Do you know where we are?" And the second MSU grad responds "Well, it looks like we're in about the same place where we crashed last year."
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Postby AnchorCat on Mon Aug 01, 2005 1:10 pm

Know how to make Grizzly cookies?

Put them in a little bowl and beat for 3 hours.
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