Press Release

catatac · Post by **catatac** » Mon May 10, 2004 4:10 pm

Article from Sports News Journal Weekly:

University of Montana Athletic Department “Calling it Quits”.

University of Montana president George Dennison announced during a press conference late Monday that all athletic interests for the university were being terminated and Grizzly Athletics were “Calling it Quits”. The announcement came a day after head Basketball Coach Pat Kennedy announced his plans to leave Montana and accept the head coaching position at Towson University in Baltimore, MD. “This was just one instance in a long line of problems our athletic department has faces in the past few months, and quite frankly it was the straw that broke the camel’s back.” Dennison stated.

Recently the University’s accounting practices have been under scrutiny by the Montana Board of Regents when it was announced in January that the athletic department was mysteriously $1,300,000 in debt. When asked about what caused the accounting errors, then Athletic Director Wayne Hogan responded by saying, “I don’t know.” Hogan resigned in April.

When asked how what was seemingly a very strong athletic program could crumble in such a short order, Dennison responded by saying, “I think it all started with that damn red-headed Lulay kid” obviously referring to the Montana State University star quarterback who, in 2002, led the Bobcats to their first football victory over the Grizzlies in 16 years, then did it to them again in 2003. “Football used to be the one area where we dominated the Bobcats, and now that dominance is over.” Dennison stated. “It’s started a snowball effect that has now rolled over into our entire athletic department. We just feel that it is in the best interests of the University of Montana, the Montana State University, and sports fans all over the great state of Montana if we just step aside and support the Montana State University Bobcat Athletic Program in Bozeman. We will redirect our efforts and now focus on becoming the finest academic institution found anywhere in Western Montana. Sure, we’ll still support the occasional Folf (Frisbee Golf) or Hackey-Sack tourney or maybe a Mountain-biking competition every now and then, but we’ve learned from our mistakes and we’re going to stick with what we know. We considered keeping Men’s Basketball alive, but heck, out of the two best candidates for the new coaching position, one’s a pothead and the other can’t get a college degree!”

Timeline of the Collapse:

November of 02 – Bobcats beat the Griz in Football for the first time in 16 years

November of 02 – Joe Glenn says the loss was “Good for the Rivalry” and resigns a day later

December of 02 – Wayne Hogan makes the 1st of his coach hiring blunders by hiring Bobby Hauck to be the head football coach. The other was hiring Pat Kennedy as Men’s Basketball coach.

September of 02 – North Dakota State University, a Division II program, beats the Grizzlies in Washington Grizzly stadium

September of 02 – Bobby Hauck comes home to 16 For Sale signs in his yard

November of 03 – Bobcats beat the Griz in Football for the 2nd time in a row

November of 03 – Bobby Hauck cries about the loss and complains about something

December of 03 – Several kids quit the football team due to Bobby Hauck’s antics

February of 04 – Budget problems uncovered

March of 04 – Justin Hartman quits the team and blasts the coaches and football program in a letter sent to the media

April of 04 – Wayne Hogan resigns

May of 04 – More football players quit due to incoming "Star Players" from 1A programs

May of 04 – Pat Kennedy resigns

May of 04 – End of Grizzly Athletics

Oops, better add 1 - Vernon Smith reportedly busted again for fighting or flashing a gun or something... might be off the team...

Cat-theotherwhitemeat · Post by **Cat-theotherwhitemeat** » Mon May 10, 2004 4:33 pm

May of 04 - catatac of Bozeman pulls his bottom lip over his face and swallows, peace on earth follows.

Post by **SonomaCat** » Mon May 10, 2004 4:56 pm

catatac: Ooooh... I sense lots of nasty one liners and altered pictures coming in response to that nice little bit of satire.

I think this might just be a "golden fiddle" caliber post. At least, until someone proves otherwise.

eRat-a-Cat-er · Post by **eRat-a-Cat-er** » Mon May 10, 2004 6:56 pm

Who's your new bud there, oh, your NEW editorial colaborator.

two peas in a pod

BAC, always happy to oblige

eRat-a-Cat-er · Post by **eRat-a-Cat-er** » Mon May 10, 2004 8:41 pm

Cats just want to be people too! DONT THEY?????????

Turn up volume.
http://homepage.mac.com/jbrimm/Cat-With-Hands.mov

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Game, written by catfans for catfans!

turn up volume.
http://www.starterupsteve.com/swf/assgame.html