Fire away with the Cat/Griz Jokes

[AlphaGriz1]

Why do bobcat grads put their diplomas on the dash of their car?

So they can qualify for handicapped parking.

[AlphaGriz1]

What's the difference between the hot dogs at Washington Grizzly Stadium and the hot dogs at bobcat stadium?


..............................................

You can get a hot dog at WGS in December.

[AlphaGriz1]

What do you call a bobcat with a BSC championship ring?



A thief.

[AlphaGriz1]

What's the difference between theMSU bobcats and a dollar bill?


You can still get four quarters out of a dollar.








How many MSU bobcats does it take to win a BSC Football Championship?


Nobody knows and we may never find out!








What do you call 47 people sitting around a TV watching the FCS Football Championship?



The MSU bobcats.

[AlphaGriz1]

What do bobcat fans and gay men have in common?

They both like Ash

[AlphaGriz1]

Montana State ENTRANCE EXAM - FOOTBALL PLAYER VERSION
Time Limit: 3 WEEKS

1. What language is spoken in France?

2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to ar****ecture, literature, law and social conditions.
-OR- give the first name of Pierre Trudeau.

3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to
(a) build a bridge
(b) sail the ocean
(c) lead an army
(d) write a play

4. What religion is the Pope?(check only ONE)
(a) Jewish
(b) Catholic
(c) Hindu
(d) Polish
(e) Agnostic

5. Metric conversion. How many feet in 0.0 meters?

6. What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 5?

7. How many commandments was Moses given? (approximately)

8. What are people in America's far north called?
(a) Westerners
(b) Southerners
(c) Northerners
(d) Canadians

9. Spell President Bush's last name.

10. Six kings of England have been called George, the last one being George the Sixth. Name the previous five.

11. Where does rain come from?
(a) Macy's
(b) a 7-11
(c) Canada
(d) the sky

12. Can you explain Einstein's Theory of Relativity?
(a) yes
(b) no

13. What are coat hangers used for?

14. The Star Spangled Banner is the National Anthem for WHAT country?

15. Explain Le Chateliers Principle of Dynamic Equilibrium -OR-
spell your name in BIG BLOCK LETTERS.

16. Where is the basement in a three story building located?

17. Which part of America produces the most oranges?
(a) New York
(b) Florida
(c) Canada
(d) Wisconsin

18. Advanced math. If you have three apples, how many apples do you have?

19. What does NBC (National Broadcasting Corp.) stand for?

20. The Montana State tradition for efficiency began when (approximately)?
(a) B.C.
(b) A.D.
(c) still waiting

[AlphaGriz1]

I have always felt that being a bobcat prepares you for life.


You learn not to expect too much.

[AlphaGriz1]

How do you keep an MSU fan from masturbating?





Paint his penis Maroon and Silver and he won't beat it for 10 years.

[AlphaGriz1]

The Seven Dwarfs were marching through the forest one day when they fell in a deep, dark ravine.

Snow White, who was following along, peered over the edge of the steep chasm and called out to the fallen dwarfs. From the depths of the dark hole, a voice returned, "The bobcats are national championship contenders."

Snow White thought to herself, "Thank God ... at least Dopey survived!"

[AlphaGriz1]

A man walked into a store and said, "I would like a gold hat, blue pants, yellow, sweater, and white shoes."

The clerk asked, "Are you a bobcat fan?"

"Yes," the man replied. "How did you guess - by the color combination?

"No," the clerk answered, "because this is a hardware store."

[AlphaGriz1]

What do you get when you cross a groundhog and a bobcat?

Six more weeks of bad football.

[AlphaGriz1]

Albert Einstein goes to a party. He introduces himself to a lady and says, "Hi, I'm Albert Einstein. What's you're IQ?".........."240," she says. "Great, we can discuss the mysteries of the universe and other things. We have a lot we can talk about " he replies. Later he is talking with a man and says, "Hi, I'm Albert Einstein. What's you're IQ?"......."145," he replies. "Great, we can talk about thermodynamics," says Albert. Later he is talking to another gentleman and says, "Hi, I'm Albert Einstein. What's you're IQ?........"43," the man manages to say. Einstein gets a puzzled look on his face for a minute then says, "How about them bobcats?"

[AlphaGriz1]

What do you call a good looking girl on the Montana State University campus?





A visitor.

[AlphaGriz1]

A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep the store."

But, I'm a Montana State graduate," the young man replied indignantly, "I even played football there!"

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager.


"Here, give me the broom, I better show you how"

[AlphaGriz1]

A little boy and his mother were walking through a Bozeman cemetery when they came upon a headstone that read: "Here lies an MSU graduate and a good man." The little boy asked his mother, "Mommy, why did they bury two people in there?"

[AlphaGriz1]

Twas the night before game time,
And all round the Zoo,
Not a creature was sleeping,
They were screaming beat MSU.
The banners were hung by the lamp posts with care
In hopes that CB would find Mariani through the air.
Drunken and crazy and burning their beds,
While visions of kick off danced through their heads.
When all of the sudden there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the keg to see what was the matter.
When there in the sky, in a cadillac sleigh,
Was Don Read all decked out in maroon and gray.
He looked at the crowd that was gathered around,
And said that he heard that the brawl was coming to town.
I came here to watch it, and wish you good luck.
Though it's not like you need it, cause Montana State Sucks!

[GrizinWashington]

Good stuff, Alpha!

This question from the exam slayed me!

What are coat hangers used for?

[WORM]

At MSU - Hanging Coats
At UM - Car Jackings and Shivs

[Cledus]

At MSU - Hanging Coats
At UM - Car Jackings, Shivs, and abortions

Fixed it for ya.

[catamaran]

Good stuff, Alpha!

This question from the exam slayed me!

What are coat hangers used for?

Do you need help with the answer